Questions about Late Talking
A reader named Andrea posted this series of questions on Friday. Her questions are so similar to those most parents ask that I thought I should respond for everyone to read.
“My 18mo son is not talking as well as my 4yo daughter did at this same age. She was a babblemouth and he doesn’t seem to want to talk at all. I have expressed my concerns with our pediatrician and was told to not be concerned. Family members don’t seem to be interested in the subject at all. I have a few questions for you and I hope you don’t mind. Why should I be concerned about my child learning to talk at a late age? Do all children who start talking at a late age fall behind in school? How can someone tell the difference between a ‘late talker’ who will catch up on his own, and a child who is not talking and is at risk for later difficulties? If my child is a late talker who will catch up on his own, then he will not need help from a Speech Language Pathologist, right?”
In order to be as thorough as possible, I am going to try to answer each of your questions separately.
“My 18mo son is not talking as well as my 4yo daughter did at this same age.”
First of all, there are gender differences between boys and girls and as well as differences between first and second born children, and I think you are seeing both of these dynamics in your family. Overall boys are more likely to talk later and/or have other learning challenges than girls. However, the developmental norms that experts use (including those used here on this site) consider gender differences and use those to devise the “averages” or “norms.” Many psychologists that study birth order also note that first-borns are likely to be more verbal and are verbal at an earlier age than children born second or later in families. Reasons cited usually include that parents spend more one-on-one time with their first and only children than with their subsequent children.
“I have expressed my concerns with our pediatrician was told not to be concerned.”
This is a very common occurrence. Many times pediatricians take a wait and see approach, and many times parents regret this. Please see my lengthy commentary on this problem under ”When to Worry.” If you feel in your heart-of-hearts that there’s truly a problem, there probably is. Parents know more about their children than even the best doctor who only gets a snapshot of your child every few months (and then most of those visits are when he’s at his worst - sick!). You are with him day in and day out, so you are the “expert” concerning him. Trust your own instincts, even if you are in disagreement with your doctor.
I recently evaluated a little boy whose parents were told by his ENT that beginning speech therapy before 2 1/2 is “crazy.” I beg to differ. There’s usually a difference between a kid referred in for early intervention at or before 2 and a kid who is still not talking at 30+ months. Six months is a long time to wait for a toddler - that’s 1/4 of his whole life! By 2 1/2 the negative patterns and high frustration levels are so much more of a habit than if we had seen a child and his family earlier. It’s the information that parents get from a speech pathologist or other early intervention professional that makes more of a difference than anything in the outcome for the child. Parents can immediately tweak what they are doing everyday at home, in addition to the real “therapy” he gets, and more often than not, the child starts to progress. Waiting doesn’t make much sense to me, especially if you are truly concerned. I have never heard of a parent that regretted pursuing an assessment before 2, and I have heard many that wish they had.
”Do all children who start talking at a late age fall behind in school?”
Not all late talkers end up having academic problems. However, late talking and other developmental problems that weren’t addressed (and many that were) show up in the case histories of children who later struggle in school. There’s so much research that supports the value of early intervention (defined as the period between birth and 3). The truth is we don’t know which of the children who talk late will end up doing fine and which ones won’t. On the flip side, there are children who talk on time or even early who later fall behind in school. There are many reasons for learning difficulties, and differences in processing language probably account for a larger percentage of problems in school than any other reason related to communication. Experts agree that a child’s language skills at age 3 are the best predictor for future academic success.
“How can someone tell the difference between a ‘late talker’ who will catch up on his own, and a child who is not talking and is at risk for later difficulties?”
No one has a crystal ball and can see the future for any child, but there are indicators and differences between kids who will eventually begin to talk and those who will struggle with communication throughout their preschool years and beyond. One large factor is child’s comprehension level. Is he understanding language? Does he follow verbal directions during your daily routines and perform other cognitive milestones such as pointing to body parts or pictures in books when asked? Kids who don’t understand many words generally don’t say many words. Make sure he’s understanding you.
On this same note, how is his hearing? Kids who can’t hear don’t talk either. Ask your doctor to refer him for an audiological (hearing) assessment, especially if he’s had ear infections. Your doctor may also be able to do a tympanogram in his office to detect any fluid in his middle ear. Fluid can be present with and without a true infection. You may never know if your child has fluid in his ears because he may not have shown any symptoms of illness such as a fever or obvious pain. Even periodic short term hearing loss, the kind that’s present when a kid has fluid in his middle ear, can create lags in a child’s ability to communicate. Kids with chronic ear infections may not correctly pronounce words because they don’t hear all the sounds. Some children with untreated ear infections seem to learn “not to listen.” To them it sounds like they’re under water half the time, so why bother? (Let me also add that undetected hearing loss is much more rare these days since newborn hearing screenings are routine. Many times parents assume their kid can’t hear when he doesn’t respond. Usually a lack of response is related more to a kid’s ability to process language rather than hear.)
Another factor is how interactive and communicative your son is without words. How does he let you know what he wants? Does he point and try to talk? Does he try to direct your behavior by pulling you up to assist him when he needs you? Is he playing social games with you and other adults? If he’s not trying to communicate using gestures or is not regularly interactive with you, insist on an immediate referral to a speech-language pathologist or early intervention program. If he is, then keep encouraging him to let you know what he wants, with or without words. Check out some of the other posts for other ideas.
Another factor is how vocal he is. Does he have any words? (By 18 months he should have at least 15 words.) Does he attempt to make noise when he tries to communicate? Is he babbling or using jargon (unintelligible longer strings of syllables that seem like he’s telling you something, even if you can’t understand). Can he imitate animal or vehicle noises? I have had some very quiet children pop out words “out of the blue,” but usually children make noise before they begin to use words. If he is unusually quiet, go ahead and get a referral now. You’ll need some tricks to get him going and help him find his voice.
Lastly, what is your family history? Do you have other late talkers on your or Dad’s side of the family? This characteristic does have a genetic link and can “run in the family.” (Let me also note that knowing that other boys in the family talked late would not be a reason for me to delay pursuing additional help.)
If my child is a late talker who will catch up on his own, then he will not need help from a Speech Language Pathologist, right?
If I knew the answer to this one, I’d be really rich because then we could just line up every late talking kid from here to there and I’d lay my hands on them and know…….. But we can’t do that.
The term “late talker” has come to mean anything from a kid who isn’t meeting expressive developmental milestones at 18 months, or 2, or even 3, who does eventally begin to talk. It also applies to kids at 18 months who may not learn to communicate anytime soon, but you don’t know that yet. Again - the truth is, I don’t know if your son will need a professional or not. Neither do you until you get him evaluated.
But in the mean time, there are LOTS of things you can do at home to help him learn to communicate, and that’s what this whole site is about. If you haven’t already, please read through the other posts for ideas for you at home. If you judiciously work on this for another few weeks or even a couple of months and he’s not any closer, please go ahead and discuss it with your doctor again, or better yet, make the call to an early intervention program, children’s hospital, or private clinic yourself. All states are required to provide access to early intervention services for children. Ask your pediatrician’s office who to call, search for it on the Internet, ask around, or look in the phone book. You could also start with your local public school or health dept. and ask who you should call. You don’t want to wait too long if he’s still not talking and you’re still worried. That’s unnecessary guilt, and we mothers have too much other stuff that we heap on ourselves to feel unneccessarily guilty about!
The worst thing that will happen from a referral to a qualified pediatric speech-language pathologist is that she/he will tell you that he’s fine and you’ll have wasted a couple of hours. Or you could find out that he’s still fine, but you’ll get specific things to do at home to move things along. Or you might find out that he needs services, and you’ll feel so much better that you did it now rather than later.
Besides speech therapy with babies is FUN! You’ll learn new ways to play and get great ideas for things to do at home. In most state-funded programs now with the emphasis on natural environments, the therapist comes to your home, so it’s not even that much of a hassle (other than maybe cleaning up around the house a little bit which most of my families stop doing after they’ve known me for a while). Even if you do have to take him somewhere, it’ll be worth the trip.
Thanks so much for reading this site. I really appreciate your questions, and I hope I’ve answered them. Please let me know if there’s anything else I can do to help! Best of luck to you and your son! Laura
Comment by ann on 8 November 2010:
Hi can anyone help please
I am getting more and more worried about my grandson. He is 26 mths old and does not speak except to say something resembling ball. his mother is spanish and my son english am I right to be concerned or is there a reasonable explination. I feel very concerned but am scared to say anything , it their first child and they dont have a clue.
thank you
Comment by Laura on 10 November 2010:
Ann - Are his parents open to having him evaluated by your state’s early intervention program? At 26 months he is behind where he should be since the MINIMUM # of words a child should have by 24 months is 50. Truth be told, children with typically developing language are using 200-300 words by this age and using short 2-3 word phrases all day long, so I too share your concern about him. The research does tell us that children who are raised in bilingual homes speak a little later. However, this likely doesn’t count for his entire delay. How does he understand language? Is he following directions in both languages, or is he having difficulty with that as well? If that is the case, then I strongly urge you to find the courage to discuss this with his parents out of your love and concern for your grandson. Many grandparents have been in a similar situation, and while you may be uncomfortable getting started, it certainly is in his best interest for you to initiate this awkward conversation.
In the meantime, if you get to spend lots of time with him, the website is packed with ideas for you to use to help him at home. Keep reading! You may also want to check out my DVDs for you to watch so that you can see how speech-language pathologists work with very young children so that you can do your own “grandma speech therapy” at home with him. Good luck! He’s lucky to have someone who cares about him like you obviously do!! Laura
Comment by Erika on 17 May 2011:
I have a little girl that is 14 months old and is always on the go. She learned to sit up by herself by 5 months, started crawling at 7 months, and started walking at 9 months of age. She can hardly stay still for more than a minute or two and then moves on to do something else. I try to get her interested in a different activity by being super energetic and fun, but she doesn’t want to give me the time of day.
The only thing I’ve found successful at this point is when I put her in her highchair for 10 minutes to keep her still enough to play with toys with me while I model language to her. I will read board books to her that are about “baby’s day” and she will stay interested for the entire book and help me turn pages. She won’t point to pictures that are talked about though. I will blow bubbles with her and she will reach up and pop them. I make my voice fun by using playful intonation patterns and say “pop! pop! bubbles, more bubbles, uh-oh where are the bubbles…” I play with different animal toys and do silly things with them and make animal sounds. She stays interested for 10 solid minutes, but then is ready to get down and move, move, move and do her own thing.
I’m concerned about her receptive language too because I don’t know how to get her to pay attention long enough to soak up language that is modeled.
She does babble by using different consonants (p, b, m, n, d, g) and some different vowels. She rarely tries to imitate sounds that I do in play because she is so on the go, go, go. I’m concerned because her only true words are dada and mama and that is it. She does have 4 signs (dog, more, all done, bubbles) but needs prompts from me frequently for her to use them.
I’m afraid of her becoming behind because she is so on the go all the time and just can’t seem to pause and enjoy playtime with me no matter how silly or excited I get. She makes eye contact with me and will participate in nursery rhymes with gestures for half of the song and then gets up and moves on. I have your apraxia dvd, teach me to play book, and your therapy manual is on the way. I would appreciate any of your tricks of the trade or ideas on how to play and teach a very busy little girl.
Comment by Laura on 23 May 2011:
Erika - It sounds like you’re doing exactly what I would recommend for her. She is a sensory seeker. I know you’ve gotten lots of information about her language development, but maybe you’ll want to start looking at sensory processing information too. I love that you’ve found a way to get her attention, even if it’s for short periods.
You can also use movement during play to target her language using movement based activities. There are lots of activities in the Play manual, but I’m sure you’ve probably tried soem of those already. Keep at it because it should get better as she gets a little older. If not, then you’ll probably want to see an occupational therapist who specializes in sensory processing disorders if her activity begins to interfere with her daily routines or if she doesn’t make a big jump, particularly in her receptive language, in the next 2 to 3 months. Let me commend you for working with her and being so concerned about her so early. GREAT job!! Laura
Comment by Andrea on 25 July 2011:
I am so happy to find this website! My son is 18 months old and I believe he has a speech delay. His receptive language is excellent, but he has no words other than mama that are not approximations (ba for ball, da for dog, etc). He babbles a ton and his babble sounds so much like speech and there’s so much eye contact and gesturing that people ask us what language he’s speaking. Everyone has blown off my concerns that he has a delay as neurotic, but I am especially concerned about the fact that he can’t (and never has been able to) say vowel sounds other than “ah”. We have been told he likely does not qualify for EI services because he does not have a 50% delay in communication. I have scheduled a hearing test, which I think will be normal - he’s never had an ear infection. I guess my question is whether my concern about the vowels is justified?
Comment by sam on 24 January 2012:
I wanted to see some input about my 17 month old son and his limit use of words. He has the very basic words (dada, mama, uh-oh) and he can do a few animal sounds like ruff for dog. I read to him and am always talking to him by explaining what we are doing. ie changing diapers, cooking meals, cleaning up etc…. He also understands and can communicate with some basic ASL signs but the thing I cannot understand and it has me concerned is that I can ask him to do very specific things like get a certain toy and put it in a certain place and he can do that which means he can understand words but cannot speak back. Should I be concerned or is this a sign of an issue that should be addressed?
Comment by Laura on 24 January 2012:
Hi Sam. It’s great that his receptive language is so good at 17 months since children certainly need to be able to understand words to be able to use them to communicate. I also love that he can sign meaning that he understands he has to do something to get something, and he understands using symbols, or one thing to mean something else, in this case a sign for a word. Keep working to help him learn to imitate words for familiar objects and actions. If he is using some words already, he is capable of talking, so his vocabulary should continue to improve. If he’s not using at least 50 words by his second birthday and combining those words into short phrases, then I’d be concerned and seek a professional evaluation at that point. Until then, keep reading for ideas here on the site to help him. You may also want to check out my DVD Teach Me To Talk to you can see how to work with him at home during play. Laura
Comment by Angela on 2 February 2012:
I received the “Teach Me to Talk” dvd yesterday and couldnt wait to try it. As soon as my son Zac woke up from his nap I put it in and set him beside me so we could watch it together. I was so impressed with the children in the movie, how they were able to communicate. I got on the floor with Zac and was determined to play with him. The harder I tried to play with him and get him to make the signs for “ball” or “more” like I saw in your movie the more fustrated he got. When I saw I was loosing his attention I would tickle him and try to get it back. He wanted to play with his toys but did not want to have anything to do with me. It got to the point we were both fustrated. I refuse to give up! I just know that your dvd is exactly what we needed. Maybe I tried to do to much to fast. I’m going to watch the dvd again tomarow and try again. I want to thank you for sending the dvd. Although he did not take to it like I hoped, it gave me some much needed direction. Thanks again!
Comment by Laura on 2 February 2012:
Hi Angela. I’m glad you liked the DVD. I’ll try to answer your questions. First of all, let me reiterate that this DVD is for adults to watch meaning YOU and not Zac. Most of the children in the DVD were children on my caseload at thet ime who knew me and I knew them very, very well. However, with the exception of a couple of kids who were younger siblings of children I also treated, these were kids with language delays and qualified for therapy. They knew me and our play routines which is proof that those strategies worked to help them learn to play and communicate.
None of the kids were shown on their first day of therapy. Over time participation and ability improves - thankfully therapy works and that’s why we do it!
On the other hand… on occasion kids do react with me like Zac did with you. Most often it’s when they’re socially isolated and tend to shut out others. If that’s the case and a child does this often, that’s a red flag for autism. It is not typical for a child to want to do his own thing most of the time. Typically developing babies and toddlers generally want to be with other people. Of course I don’t know your son or what’s going on with him, but if that’s the case, you’ll want to get this checked out.
It could also be that you freaked him out a little bit and that he’s not used to mommy playing with him in this way. Take your time, work to build that kind of play and see what happens. If that’s the case, in time it should get better, but if it doesn’t I would be concerned and push forward with an assessment.
Hope this advice helps! Laura
Comment by Angela on 16 February 2012:
Laura,
I have been working with Zac everyday since we got your “Teach Me to Talk” dvd a few weeks ago. He still doesn’t say any additional words other than bye bye and uh oh. However I do think he is making progress. My husband and I both have also been trying to incorperate the “more” sign that I saw in the video through out the day. The first time he signed more when I stoped bouncing him on my leg (he wanted to be bounced more)I almost cried. Now if we ask him if he wants more he will sign more. He doesnt do it yet with out being asked if he wants more. He is 21 months old now and this is the first time he has been able to express what he wanted “more”. I can’t express how happy and proud I am with him. We are planning on introducing a new sign for him next week. Do you have one you would suggest? Im still working on the talking part but I am extatic about the signing. Thank you so much!!
Angela
Comment by Laura on 16 February 2012:
Angela - HOORAY!!!! Congratulations to you for helping him learn his first sign!!
As for what to do next, read the articles in the sign language section here on the website for more detailed information. My short answer is that I would pick an easy sign that he can use frequently such as “eat” or “drink” or “milk.” Snack time is great for teaching signs and there’s a section about that on the DVD. If he has a favorite toy, teach that sign and using signs with toys are on the DVD too.
Signs do often lead to word imitations, so keep modeling the words as you sign.
I’m so glad you’ve seen some progress. Keep the good work! You can do this!!! Laura
Comment by Noura on 21 February 2012:
Hi Laura, I am an Asian student in a middle east country. My 4-year-old son still cannot form full sentences, speaks in jargon although he has a wide vocabulary. We use English at home because it helps him to understand educational programs like Dora and Barney (those series help with his vocabulary, but not speaking skill). I cannot afford to send him to the English-medium pre-school, and cheap preschool has issues like cleanliness and large number of students. My Asian friends’ children only use our native language, so this is also makes my son unable to use his English with them (he understands English way better than my native language). So my question is, does lack of interaction with other children affect my son’s communication skill greatly?
Comment by Laura on 21 February 2012:
Hi Noura. What a great question! And it’s one I can’t really answer with any degree of certainty since I can’t see your little boy. Children learn how to talk from adults, BUT social interaction with peers is an important part of being a preschooler. Learning to make friends and get along with peers is a critical life lesson, and you can’t do that unless you’re around other kids. It’s not that important at 1 or 2, but at 4, it is becoming more of a priority. Not so much for language, but for all of the other skills he’ll need for school.
I think the biggest factor is what language will he need when you do send him to school? If it’s not English, then you need to help him make the switch sooner rather than later. To do that, say everything twice - once in English and once in your native language - to help him make the connection.
I’d also say that if he were truly typically developing, he would very likely not have these issues learning both languages. The underlying language issue is there regardless of what language or how many languages he’s learning. Bilingual kids may achieve expressive milestones a little later, BUT when there are comprehension issues as you’re describing, there is an underlying problem that needs to be addressed. Are you staying in that country for years to come? You’ll want to figure out a way to have him assessed and then how to implement a treatment plan for him, even if that means you’re doing most of the treatment.
Feel free to reply with any other questions. I’d love to help you sort this out! Laura
Comment by Hailey on 22 February 2012:
Hi Laura! I’m so glad I came across your website
my concern is with my almost 22 month old he currently has only 10-15 words plus lots of sound effects (animals,cars,snoring ect.) and says some letters(D,E,N,B,O,S,R) He was evaluated by EI in December but did not get services due to his receptive laungage and ability to communicate without words, he really had almost no words or sounds besides babble at the time so I have noticed improvement. What confuses me is how much he understands he can recognize all the letters,shapes,colors,animals,body parts,numbers 1-10, and can point out just about anything and follow direction easily, the words just aren’t comming. I feel so lost because he is becoming so frustrated that I don’t always understand him, and he tries to say things but it’s almost like the words get “stuck” in his throat almost like a stutter and then just come out as a series of sounds. At first I was like so Many others and concerned with autism, but the more I read the more I just feel like that truely doesn’t fit. Any ideas of why one could have such good receptive laungage but lacks in expressive so bad? I just dont see how he will have 50 words in two months, and really wish I knew how to help him better 
Comment by Laura on 25 February 2012:
Hailey - If he’s not made considerable progress after he turns 2, then have him reassessed again, but you may have to figure out another way for him to receive speech therapy other than EI. Have you checked with other clinics or programs in your area? Will your insurance cover services? If not, can you pay for services yourself? Many state EI programs are cutting services so that only children with significant delays qualify for services, so again, you’ll likely have to come up with another way to get him some help.
I agree that he doesn’t sound like he’s on the spectrum since his receptive language and gestures are so good at 22 months, but ther are many other reasons he could be having difficulty with expressive language and speech sound development. Without seeing him I have no idea with what’s going on with him, and it would be unfair to guess (although apraxia/motor planning would be what it could be) but the good news is, he is making some progress, although it’s slower than what you’d like AND he’s certainly not significantly delayed, even though I think it feels that way to you!
Have you taken a look at my DVD Teach Me to Talk? I highly recommend that to moms who are looking for ways to implement strategies SLPs use at home, and it sounds like this may give you the direction you need to give him a jump start. If you implement those techniques and aren’t seeing any progress, then chances are, he will qualify for services at that point.
Keep reading for ideas here on the website too! That’s why I started this site - to help moms like you! Laura
Comment by nasrin on 13 May 2012:
hi there!why there is no response from your site?and i dont see my comment too!!!!!
Comment by Laura on 13 May 2012:
Hi Nasrin. All comments must be preapproved before they’re posted to the site or else we would be overrun with spam and porn! I don’t see a previous comment from you either, so for some reason unknown to me, it didn’t post. Please enter it again, and I’ll be happy to help you. Laura
Comment by Nasrin on 17 May 2012:
Hi Laura,
Thanks for your reply. first of all i want to thank you for such a useful site and you are doing a great job by personally interacting with parents.
I want to discuss with you about my son (19 months) who is not taking yet. I have read lot of articles on your site (milestones, red flags) ,and if I judge my son according to them I don’t see any of those problem with him. He follows commands ,recognize objects, points out to picture or things when asked .shows his body parts, imitates animal sounds. He enjoys reading books and watching nursery rhymes .he imitates body actions & also action for any particular rhyme. has a good memory he is playful and active child.
As far as expressive language is concern he interact with us by pointing out the things, he wants to ask about & also makes sounds (aaah, hmm )along with it (as if he is talking ) to catch our attention. And for words he only says abba, baba that’s it (that too when he wants ). For the last few days he has started babbling sounds of mama, b, p, d. when asked he will show where is mama & papa but never called us by these words.
He never had any health issue & completed all his developmental milestones on time except teething (11 month). We are from india and live in middle east. For this reason he has not got enough chances to socialize with people & children. We speak our native language & English both.
Ohh !! its getting too long, sorry I want to give you details so you can guide me accordingly, what to do ? when will he say words? Should I go for consultation or wait for some time ?
Wating for your reply. thanx
Comment by Laura on 21 May 2012:
Hi Nasrin. I understand your frustration. I’m glad to hear that he is following directions and linking means with words which means that his receptive language is developing as it should. I’m also glad that he can imitate actions. Those are great prerequites for speech-language skills. Will he imitate any play sounds like animal sounds or car sounds or even short exclamatory words like, “Yay!” or “Whee!” Can he copy face and mouth movements such as clicking his tongue or licking his lips? You may need to start with these kinds of ideas first and then move him toward single words. These kinds of strategies are outlined in my new book Building Verbal Imitation Skills in Toddlers. If he doesn’t come along with those few examples, I’d recommend getting the book and working through that with him. We ship to India frequently! Good luck to you! Laura