Asking Questions
I’ve written several articles on teaching toddlers to answer questions, and now here’s the low down on how and when toddlers begin to ask questions -“What’s that” usually emerges first, followed by any version of “Where (did it/person) go,” followed by “Why?” In typically developing language, an approximation of “What’s that?” occurs around 15 - 18 months. Asking ”Where” and “Who” questions as well is more complex “What” questions emerge around between ages 2 1/2 to 3. Asking ”Who and “Why” questions begin at 3. “How and When” questions usually emerge between 3 and 3 1/2.
Toddlers also begin to ask questions just by using a rising intonation at the ends of their words or phrases such as,”Daddy?” for “Where did Daddy go?” or “Cookie?” for “May I have another cookie?” or “Dat?” for “What’s that?” The true question words (what, where, etc…) usually don’t emerge until a child has begun to ask questions in this way first.
For toddlers with language delays, they may not begin to ask questions until much later than these age ranges and without some effort on your part.
Let me add, if you thought teaching answering questions was hard, wait until you try to start to teach asking! Many children begin to ask, “What’s that?” simply because they’ve heard us ask them that question 1000 times a day! Keep modeling this question for them in daily routines. One author suggests using a puppet or another character to model this question as you hide an object under a blanket. Feel the item using the puppet or character’s hand and ask, “What’s that?”
One other way to target this question is by introducing something he’s never seen before, something that may even be a little strange, or out of the ordinary that will peak his curiosity. Make a big deal about presenting the item by building anticipation and maybe even saying, “WOW!” Point to the item, and make other novel comments such as, “Oooh, ” and “Ahhhhh,” but don’t use many real words. Your lack of explanation may prompt some version of the question, “What’s that?”
If he doesn’t begin to ask questions, continue to ask him, ”What’s that?” and “Where’s ____________?” using huge arm gestures, a confused facial expression, and an exaggerated tone of voice. Funny toddlers will totally get into this. Many times toddlers begin to imitate the gesture before they actually imitate the question.
My favorite way to teach ”Where” questions is by playing hide and seek. Either use a character or doll to hide in various places, or for more fun, enlist Dad or siblings and teach this classic children’s game. Make a big deal about hiding, counting, and then asking, “Where’s _________?” Ask, “Is he behind the couch?” then say a loud, “Noooooooooo!.” Model again, “Where’s _______?” Ask again, “Is he under the chair?” ”Nooooooo!?” Really exaggerate these statements and questions as you model. Try to hold out for 3 or 4 empty places before finding your lost family member to build anticipation and target the question since this should be this a focus of your game - in addition to having lots of fun!
Another way I teach “Where” is by singing a little song I learned a while ago on a children’s show. (I think it was from Disney’s Bear in the Big Blue House, but I’m not 100% sure!) I again use the hand motion with my arms extended and move them up and down to the music. It goes like this -
“Where, oh where, oh where is ___________?
Where, oh where, oh where is _________?
Where, oh where, oh where is ___________?
Where can _____________ be?”
Or try other songs with questions such as, ”Where is Thumbkin?”
Again, many children on my caseload imitate the hand motions long before they try to say the word, “Where?” I use this gesture as the sign for where rather than the ASL version since it’s a naturally occuring gesture that most people understand.
For older toddlers learning to ask more advanced What questions such as, “What do you want?” model this using dolls or characters in play. Tell your child that the doll doesn’t know what he wants to eat (or play with) and he has to “ask” the doll. Model, “What do you want?” several times before switching roles so your child can ask.
For teaching, “Who’s there/that?” use characters and let them knock on a door to a doll house or your real door. Model asking, “Who’s there” several times before changing roles with your child and having him “ask” the question.
By the time children are really talking, they do usually pick up the ever - endearing ”Why? Why? Why?” I sometimes work on this specifically, but nearly every time I do, parents wish I hadn’t!
Sometimes silence alone may prompt your child to ask a question. Present a new item and simply wait. Say nothing. This may be hard for a chatty mom (and SLP), but it’s worth a shot!
I’d like to hear your feedback! Tell me what’s worked for you! Laura
Popularity: 16% [?]
Comment by Ashi on 10 July 2008:
Dear laura, your website is great, and i tried some techniques on my 5 yrs old bilingual son, who is also have mild autism. It worked wonder(i thinks so!!!), Just one week i tried this approach of talking just one language i.e english with him, and I think it worked. He started asking and answering simple questions like what, where and how many? Is that a —-? and say I want this or that…
But do not say I do not want ——–instead he would say i want no milk, and answers of where questions would be like same..i.e where is daddy;s big car,,, he would say in the garage, where is daddy… he would say ” in the sleeping, like that..
I want some advise how to go ahead with that, as he is learning but i am anxious and worried how long will it take him to talk properly like us. sometime i think wheather he would be able to talk normally or not, I am really devastated, pls help me. can his speech would eventually come to normal, i am worried as he is diagonosed as having mild autism. pls advise me.
Comment by Laura on 11 July 2008:
Ashi - Congratulations on your son’s progress in just one week! No one can tell you if or how quickly he’s going to catch up because we don’t have “crystal ball.” But you know that if he’s made good progress in just one week of you focusing on his language, he will likely continue to get better. Don’t give up! One thing I would do is “model” for him how to ask/answer questions using correct grammar and a more adult-like sentence structure after he says something incorrectly. For example, when he says “I want no milk,” you should say to him, “I don’t want milk,” and encourage him to repeat it that way. I will caution you not to over-correct his speech right now though, so he doesn’t become discouraged or negative. Nothing is worse for a new talker than to constantly be corrected by an over-judgmental mommy! I’m so glad he’s improving! Keep up the good work! Laura
Comment by Ashi on 11 July 2008:
Thanks Laura, I just need to ask how to make him say “I, You and we as he still use his name instead of i and mamma, and dada instead of you. pls advise me, as i am trying to teach him at home.
Comment by Rachel Sullivan on 3 October 2008:
Hi
I wanted to say thanks for such an informative site. My son is 41/2 and I think has mild autism(in the process of being evaluated) He has been getting speech therapy three times a week but I am really trying to work with him at home a lot. His biggest problems are echolalia, mostly when he is nervous now and pronoun reversal. I am trying to teach him questions. He has never ever asked me why, where, who when ques. He is able to understand when I ask him things and answer but doesn’t get the asking part. I am trying the things you have suggested but for example every time I ask him to ask his stuffed animal a ques or try to get him to ask the ques he just gives me the answer, its frustrating! The only thing he is able to communicate is what he wants, so he says “you want….” a lot, (you meaning himself)
Any suggestions?
Thanks again for a great site!
Comment by Laura on 3 October 2008:
Rachel - Echolalia is soooooo hard to treat! As an SLP, I find it challenging too, so I understand your frustration. I hope that you’ve read the articles on echolalia and implemented those suggestions. Keep trying them, even when you feel like you’re making a mess of it, and/or your son’s still not getting it.
The best way I’ve found to work on asking questions with a child who is echolalic is to have another person with you so that your son can ask the other adult the question and you can “whisper coach” him with how to ask. You’ll need to work hard to set up the situations so that your son HAS to ask the adult the question in order to get information or an activity.
MODEL MODEL MODEL these questions as you play. You will likely need to increase your energy level and playfulness to make this new and exciting. If you’re not sure what I mean by this, check out the DVD for more specific “how to” instructions and examples.
Also look at the age milestones for these questions to emerge listed in the above article. If his language age isn’t there yet, teaching these “ahead of schedule” may be too frustrating, for him and for you.
Last, but not least, how does your SLP tell you to work on these things? I hope you’re getting to participate in the sessions so that you’re seeing what works and what doesn’t. Ask her for very specific feedback and make her “coach” you while you play with your son so that you’re sure you’re understanding what you should be doing. This very specific feedback is uncomfortable for some SLPs to give and some parents to receive, but it really does make the difference in some cases.
Thanks so much for your questions, and I’m glad you’ve found the site helpful! Laura