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1. 

   Comment by Viki on 24 October 2008:

   My daughter saw a video of herself at 18 months, and when saked who that was, declared “you!” I took her pointer finger and touched it against her chest and said, “me.” Then I asked again, and pointed her finger to her chest and she answered correctly. We combined this with asking a clarifying question when she confused the pronouns. If she said “Mama, read this for you.” I’d respond with, “Who shall I read it for?” and provide the pointing cue (always with her own hand) as necessary. She quickly learned to ammend “read it for me.” For a few months she touched her hand to her chest to remind herself which word to use, until she got the hang of it.

2. Comment by Laura on 25 October 2008:

   Viki - Thanks for sharing your idea with other moms! Laura
3. 

   Comment by Grandma Linda on 2 March 2009:

   My grandson (45 months) has a significant receptive/expressive speech delay and still does not answer the question, “what is your name?” He has about 200 single words and is using up to 5 word sentences occasionally, some action words and adjectives (like pretty, scary, spooky, yucky). He does respond to his name and when he sees a photo of himself he will say, “It’s Jesse.” Do you have any suggestions on how to proceed, or is this too abstract a concept for him at this time? He is receiving speech therapy through the school district 2 half hour sessions a week, but his therapist is very rigid in her agenda, has a pre-printed lotto board (with objects he could care less about i.e. VEGETABLES) and flash cards for him to match and pronounce. She is more concerned about his pronunciation and does not use his likes or interests to elicit speech. I have all your DVD’s and have researched speech delays to the point of saturation, so I am now working with him 3 times a week since my daughter has 3 children all 18 months apart and has her hands full.
4. 

   Comment by Annette on 2 March 2009:

   What I did for my son was have our family gather ’round. I’d ask Jake (my late talker) “What’s your name?” When he didn’t respond, I’d say, “Jake!” or Jacob. Then, I’d ask my 5 yr old daughter.. “What’s your name?” and she’d say, “Sammi!” Then I ask daddy, “What’s your name?” and he’d say, “Daddy!” etc. Then, I would ask Jake, while pointing to daddy, “What’s his name?” and Jake would answer, “Daddy!” and so on. We would cover everyone at least twice, and he got exposure to the question and was modeled the answers. He doesn’t ALWAYS answer on his own, but I know he is more familiar with the question, and gives a good try (Jakah).

   I also modeled the “How old are you?” question the same way. I ask him and other family members “How old are you?” Now Jake holds up his 3 little fingers and says, “Tree!”

   Model the questions and answers… it works for us!
5. 

   Comment by Laura on 2 March 2009:

   Linda - You’re on the right track with helping him identify himself by name in his photograph. The only other thing I’d try is working on this in play. Use puppets or a character and have that character ask everyone in the room his name. When the person says his name, then do something silly like make the character tickle, or hug, or give a big kiss or any other action you know Jesse will love. Do this with other people for several turns before asking Jesse so he can see them say their names and get “rewarded.”

   The other thing you might try is giving a piece of candy/ bite of ice cream/a treat he loves to anyone who says their name. Say, “Who wants ice cream? What’s your name?” and again liberally reward that person. I’d withhold just long enough for him to try, but again, if he’s rolling around on the floor crying, you’ve gone too far. You could also have someone “whisper coach” him and say softly “Jesse” in his ear so he can imitate his name when you’re asking him the question to get the prize. This method is very effective for children who are pretty good imitators, and it does work best when it’s not the person asking the question.

   Keep using the photos to work on his name too. You could also ask other people in the picture “Who’s that?” to say their own names and then ask them in a silly way, “What’s your name?” Again make it goofy and loads of fun so he’ll want to respond.

   Answering “What’s your name?” is a skill near the 33-36 month level, so hang in there. It sounds like he’s under this just a bit, but he’s improving, so he will get there eventually.

   Keep working with him Linda! You’re an inspiration to all of the other moms and grandmothers out there!!!! You can do it!!

   Laura
6. 

   Comment by Grandma Linda on 4 March 2009:

   Thanks Laura for your wonderful advice. I spoke to my daughter on the phone last night and mentioned your suggestions - well - she laughed a little, called Jesse over to the phone and asked “What’s your name?” He replied quite boldly, “Captain Jesse!” She told me he has been doing this for about a month. I guess this grandma is the last to know. Jesse is MUCH more verbal at home than with me or ESPECIALLY with other adults, including his speech therapist. Is this common? My own children talked to everyone, so this is a whole new world for me and sometimes I feel like I am on a boat with no paddles. We will be using your great ideas to elicit more speech from him in the future, and I thank you again for all your efforts in helping us help our little ones find their voices.
7. 

   Comment by Laura on 5 March 2009:

   Linda - Glad I could help, but it looks like you didn’t need it! Laura
8. 

   Comment by Annette on 6 June 2009:

   Hi Laura!
   I was wondering about something… lately Jake has gone back a step so to speak, and I am wondering if this is nature’s way of putting the pieces of the jigsaw together for him or a developing cognition problem.

   He skipped over the phase of referring to himself by name instead of I, me, etc., when he was younger, but now he is doing it on occasion. He will say something like, “That’s Jake’s plane!” Or “This is Jake’s chair!” He still uses I, me, my appropriately the majority of the time, but has added this extra little piece of expression.

   Is this a way of making-up for a missed connection since he didn’t do this at 18 mos to 2yrs like a lot of kids do? Should I be concerned, or just keep on alternating both styles of self-reference with him and hope he ‘gets it’ in the future?

   We still don’t have an SLP, but are scheduled for a call back to have an evaluation through the school system in July. He has made so much progress, I want to make sure I am keeping him advancing in the proper direction.

   Thanks for your expertise!
   Annette & Jake
9. 

   Comment by Laura on 11 June 2009:

   Annette - I skipped your post quite by accident. A faithful reader of the site pointed out to me that I had not responded to you, so sorry!!!

   I don’t think him using his name is anything to be concerned about since he’s using pronouns appropriately the majority of the time. He could be doing this for emphasis as in - “Back off!!! This is so clearly MINE!!”

   So glad you’re getting a new eval. I always like a fresh set of eyes to see kids I’ve worked with for a while to make sure there’s nothing we’ve missed AND to confirm progress.

   I also hope the surgeries went well for him. Here’s wishing you BOTH a speedy recovery!!!
10. 

    Comment by Anonymous on 18 October 2010:

    I have been doing early intervention for infants (18 mos to 3 years) for a few years now, and I have come across the I/you dilemma several times now. What I found very effective is if you set up the following situation. You hold/have an item (i.e. car) and the kid holds/has another item (i.e. ball), and then you as them, “Who has the car?” and prompt them to respond with, “You do.” Then ask them, “who has the ball?” and prompt them to respond with, “I do.” You can do this for various things, or ask them the question just when they have an item….you can be sure they understand when you take/switch item(s) and they know to use I or you appropriately. Once they have gotten this much, you can generalize to actions too if applicable- “who’s playing/brushing hair/etc?” “I am”/”You are.”

    This can also be used to teach his vs her. But will be important for kids to know boys vs. girls first. To teach his/her, use obvious things like Barbie and Ken…they can “hold” items, and then you can ask the same question.
11. 

    Comment by AJ on 2 November 2010:

    Hi Laura!

    My son recently turned three and he has a problem with the I/you reversal. I feel like I have tried everything but he’s just not getting it. Sometimes I try to explain and he gets frustrated and he’ll be like, “No, I do!” (and point to me) or “That’s your…” (and point to himself).
    The only other concern I have is that he’ll sometimes repeat questions before answering them. Like if I say, “How old are you?” He’ll say, “How old are you?…three!” Other than that he seems to have normal development. Do you have any other suggestions on how to work with him on those language issues? Thank you in advance!
12. 

    Comment by Laura on 10 November 2010:

    AJ -

    I just read another SLP’s advice for targeting the I/you. She uses stuffed animals or characters to target pronouns and verbs. She lines up the animals/characters and says, “I am ___” and names the animal/character. Then she uses verbs and has the animal/character act out the verb. For example, “I jump” and then makes the animal/character jump, then “I sleep” and makes the animal/character sleep, etc…
    Then she says, “Who will you be?” Once the child picks a character, she says, “What will you do?” to encourage the child to say, “I + verb” and then act out the verb.

    It does sound like he’s having some difficulty understanding and processing questions. He’s likely repeating the question to give himself additional time to process so that he can answer the question appropriately. If he is answering correctly, then he’s worked out his own strategy! If not, then you’ll have to work to help him understand what you’ve asked him. You can find some other ways to do that here on the site. Keep reading!

    Has he had a speech-language evaluation? If you are worried about his ability to process language, you can get one for free through your local public school system. Call the information # and ask about setting up a preschool speech-language evaluation.

    Hope these ideas help you! Laura
13. 

    Comment by Sara's Bell on 25 April 2011:

    Hi Laura,
    My DD is 31 months old and exhibiting echolalia quite often. If I ask her about her day at school, she will only tell me what I have told her about school. Such as ”Honey, how was your day at school?” And she will say ”Read books, play with kids, go on swings” which is exactly what I told her she was going to do before she started school this week. She parrots a lot of what strangers say when they ask her a question or just make a comment. She a lot of times will say ”Careful, fall, get hurt” if she sees a park or falls off of something. She also is just not getting pronouns. She uses ”I” for almost everything. She can say ”I gotta go pee.” But then when I am making dinner she will say ”I making dinner.” A lot of her speech is what she has memorized, such as phrases she hears a lot.
14. 

    Comment by Laura on 27 April 2011:

    Sara’s Bell - I would be worried about her too since she is more echolalic than what would be considered within normal limits for her age. You’ll want to see an SLP who is experienced treating children with high functioning autism and/or auditory processing issues since that person will have more direct experience treating echolalia, and her issues seem a little more complex, so simply put, you’re going to want someone who knows what they’re doing.

    Although her vocabulary and phrase length are likely within the normal range, her ability to process language is not since she can’t understand questions well enough to answer them and doesn’t have enough spontaneous language to generate novel answers. I certainly can’t make a specific diagnosis since I can’t see her, but the issues you’re describing are red flags and do warrant an evaluation and in all likelihood, speech therapy to address higher level auditory processing/language comprehension issues.

    On the other hand, she IS talking, so there’s certainly reason to believe that she can and will get better with therapy and a professional to train you how to work with her so that she overcomes these issues now rather than waiting when it may be harder for her to make changes such as learning to use pronouns correctly.

    These were great questions, and I applaud you for looking for information to help her at home. As I just told the mom in the previous comment I answered, many mothers would dismiss this kind of concern and perhaps wait too long to seek professional assistance. I’m glad you’re not doing that. Good luck with her, and let me know how she progresses! Laura
15. 

    Comment by DV on 19 September 2011:

    Hi,
    My twins are almos 23 months old (22 months corrected, if that matters) and still use their names instead of I and you. Should I be worried?
    -DV
16. 

    Comment by Laura on 19 September 2011:

    DV - Nope. You should not be worried one little bit about that. Pronouns usually emerge between 24 and 30 months, so hang in there. It will happen. Model using “I” and “you” in phrases so they can hear the correct forms. Laura
17. 

    Comment by Sharon on 20 September 2011:

    Hi,

    I have 2 boys the oldest is 4 and talked really young and quite plainly, the 2nd just turned 2, and is only saying a few words and seems to crack a word like a very plain ‘hello’ and then a few weeks later it isnt used much. He says the usual da da, ca ca (for his brother) tractor, and only mummy sometimes and seems to use ‘da’ tone for alot of things. He knows every animal and every animal sound and will point to every object in a book when asked to so knows items and names but not saying them or attempting too, he’s a watcher and could repeat a jigsaw or task no problem and understand instructions no problem. We taught him to say please (eeese) when asking for something and now when you ask him to say for example ‘Juice’ he says please.
    Is there any exercises i could do with him to help him or should be getting his hearing checked out or referred?

    Thanks
18. 

    Comment by DV on 20 September 2011:

    Thanks so much for the prompt response, Laura!
19. 

    Comment by Meaghan Fuller on 22 September 2011:

    Hi,
    My daughter just started Junior Kindergarten and we are increasingly concerned with her mis-use of pronouns (him/he, her/she). Just yesterday, I heard her say “Silly I” instead of “Silly me!” We do correct her but it doesn’t seem to be helping. Any suggestions of what we can or resources to go to while we wait for an appointment with a speech path? Thanks.
20. 

    Comment by Amanda on 2 February 2012:

    Hi Laura,
    Thank you for your advice and suggestions. My daughter is 3 1/2 and has trouble with I/You reversals from time to time. We also have issues with a lack of spontaneous speech especially when she is asked “why” questions. To give you a little background info, my daughter began talking at a very early age w/ no apparent delays. She quickly learned colors/numbers w/ no real effort and continually built upon her vocabulary of names of objects, names for people, etc. However, repetitive speech was and still is a concern. She is very imaginative and plays well w/ toys she is interested in. However, pretend play has just become fun for her in the past 6 months. At an earlier age, she had no interest in playing w/ dolls or imitating adult behavior of feeding/caring for baby. Now that she is enjoying imaginative play, a good deal of her time is spent repeating facts about princesses (her favorite toys) or asking, “Who is this?” or “What color is her dress?” or “What does she say?” She KNOWS all these answers so why does she continually ask?? She is inquisitive at least, but my concern is that we are not getting beyond the basics. It seems she has great difficulty carrying on conversations w/ others (adults and children her age) even though she really WANTS to do so. She enjoys interacting w/ others quite a bit, is very affectionate, playful, etc. My main concern is the repetitive nature of her conversation and her struggle to communicate her thoughts. Any advice on what type of delay or disorder she may have? Would this be considered an expressive delay or disorder perhaps? At times, she just seems so random - as if she is trying to make a phrase or word “fit” the situation we are in. She CAN answer basic comprehension questions as we read books together, but she cannot spontaneously initiate questions about books or everyday life. Rarely asks “why” questions which I feel is uncommon at this point. Oftentimes she seems to ignore a question rather than try to answer it. Any advice you can give would be appreciated.
21. 

    Comment by Laura on 2 February 2012:

    Hi Amanda. It’s great that she’s trying so hard. She probably is having some difficulty processing. The only way to work on that is to just keep having those conversations with her. She probably asks you those questions with the princesses because that’s how you initiate conversations with her. She’s imitating what she’s heard you do. To remedy that hold off on the questions and do more commenting and general conversation with ideas and actions to draw her into interacting with you in those early pretend scenarios such as, “Wow! Look at her dress. It’s so pretty! I think she’s going to a birthday party. Let’s pick out a present to take.” Then you can launch your play from there. She is telling you with her questions and repetitions that she wants to talk, she just doesn’t quite know what to say. Helping her work through her issues with language during this kind of play can take a lot of effort on your part, but it will be worth it. Fill in her blanks for her. Take every repetition, rote question, or word that doesn’t fit as her way of saying, “I really want to talk to you here, but I need some help from you!!” Does that make sense? To work on why questions with her, ask the question yourself and then provide the answer. Start with very basic cause & effect such as, “The baby is crying. Why is she crying? I think she’s hungry. She needs a bottle.” Be sure to mix up your comments and questions of this type too so she’s not just scripting and doesn’t sound echolalic. If you need higher level therapy ideas to use with her, there’s a section on this in my therapy manual, but lots of the book won’t be applicable because she’s older and past that point.

    Without seeing her it would be hard to say if there’s a delay or disorder. If you continue to be concerned in the next few months, have an SLP in private practice take a look at her. She likely will not qualify for services through the public schools because she is communicating well enough to get her basic needs met and even has some nice strengths. The good news is she’s trying!!! She sounds delightful, and you are obviously doing a good job with her. Keep it up!! Laura

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