Many people assume, incorrectly of course, that because a child isn’t talking by age 2 or 3, he or she must be autistic. 

Let me reassure you, there are many reasons for late talking or speech-language delays in toddlers, and autism is just one of them. 

Late talking, when there’s no other delay, usually does not mean autism.

However, it is important that children learn to communicate their wants and needs. And, truth be told, all toddlers should be talking by age 2.  

The expected norm, in fact, is that a child should say a minimum of 50 words consistently on his/her own and frequently say short phrases such as “Bye bye Mama” or “more cookies” without prompting from a parent.

If your two-year old child is not able to do this, he very likely does have an expressive language delay.  

Again, expressive language delay does not always mean autism.

If your child also has difficulty understanding language, that is following your directions, she could also have a receptive language delay.

Children with receptive language delays often act as if they’re deaf, or can’t hear what you’ve told them to do. They tend to “ignore” others since words don’t mean anything to them yet. This behavior can also be confused with an autism diagnosis.  

Again, a receptive language delay does not always mean autism.

However, it does mean that a child needs special help to be able to learn to comprehend language and then use words.     

Understanding language and talking are critical skills for toddlers to master. Practically every single thing a young child needs to be successful once he starts school depends on understanding what others say and being able to use words to interact with others.

Most of the time, children with language delays don’t simply “grow out of it.” Early treatment for toddlers with these difficulties is essential before these symptoms become severe.  

Parents play a critical role in determining the ultimate outcome for any child, but especially for those with language delays.  

Success comes when parents make a huge commitment to help their child learn to understand and use words. Even when a child is already enrolled in speech therapy, preschool, or daycare, his or her parents are still the very best “teachers” a young child could ever have.

But many parents aren’t sure how to go about fulfilling this important role. Some ask me,

“How can I teach my baby to talk when I’ve already tried everything I know ?”

I’m going to show you some new things to try, but first, let me stop to reassure you, this is NOT your fault!

Most loving parents do everything they know how to help their child, especially one who’s frustrated and struggling. Every good parent knows to talk to their child, read to their child, and play with their child.

But sometimes parents don’t know how to do these things and get results. Then they end up blaming themselves for what their child can’t do.     

Let me tell you this again - the problem isn’t you. And for lots of late talking children, the problem may not even be autism.     

The problem simply may be that you haven’t had simple, easy to understand tools you need to help your child learn to communicate. 

Many children who are late talkers, and especially toddlers who are at risk for autism, need to be taught in different ways, so that they too can begin to learn to talk and do all of the things other toddlers can do.

But even as an educated parent, you may not know how to do this.    

THERE’S FINALLY AN EASY, FUN, NO-TEARS METHOD TO HELP TEACH YOUR TODDLER TO UNDERSTAND WORDS AND FINALLY, BEGIN TO TALK.

You’ll learn how to do this in a series of 3 DVDs from teachmetotalk.com called: 

Teach Me To Talk

Teach Me To Listen and Obey 1

Teach Me To Listen and Obey 2

This set of DVDs was developed by pediatric speech-language pathologist Laura Mize, author of this website teachmetotalk.com, and host of the popular podcast “Teach Me To Talk with Laura and Kate.”

These strategies are the same ones experts recommend to help teach parents how to work with toddlers and young preschoolers at home. Laura has taken best practices and current research and put it in “layman’s terms” so that all parents can now understand and use the same specialized techniques.  

Based on praise from hundreds of parents from around the world, these strategies are proven to be simple to learn, easy to apply, and best of all successful, in helping your child begin to understand your words, and then finally, unlock that beautiful voice your child has locked away inside.

Join Laura as she uses the same down-to-earth, practical approach that she teaches parents in her practice as a pediatric speech-language pathologist, writes about on her website, and talks about during her weekly show.  

In these DVDs, Laura shows you EXACTLY how to work with your toddler at home using toys you likely already have and during every day activities, like snack time. Watch as she explains and then demonstrates HOW to teach your child.

Unlike other speech therapy DVDs, this isn’t just a videotaped conference for professionals, and it’s not just a DVD for you to plop your child in front of to watch and hope for results.

In these DVDs YOU, as your child’s best teacher, learn how to help YOUR child.

You’ll watch her work with a full range of toddlers and young preschoolers or different ages and abilities. And you won’t see this demonstrated in a clinical setting or see her using techniques you’d need a PhD to understand.  

You’ll see actual therapy sessions that seem more like everyday play, rather than “speech therapy.” 

Best of all, she first explains exactly  what to do using everyday, parent-friendly language, and then demonstrates how to do it with real children, just like yours. 

You’ll be able to use these techniques with you very own child, the very first day you watch the DVD. Read one mom’s note -   

“Just wanted to let you know how thrilled I am with your video. I just received it five days ago and I’ve watched it every morning to gear up for working with my daughter each day and I have to tell you what a difference it has made! My daughter has been in therapy for a year and a half (she’s 31 months) and she would often run from me during our “play” sessions…finally, after only five days, she is starting to think that her mommy is fun during playtime! Thank you for giving me a way to really connect with my daughter on a new level. This video is priceless.”   Helen

See a few clips for yourself -

Watch a child who’s not talking yet learn to ask for things he wants in Teach Me To Talk.

Many parents feel so worried and fruWords from another mother -

“Dear Laura,
I am so excited about your wonderful Teach Me To Talk DVD.  It has brought me so much relief and help…. Thank you for your web site and all the helpful information you have been providing.  Whenever I’m on the Internet researching delayed speech, your sight always calms my fear and makes me feel capable of helping my daughter.” Jennifer, Washington 

Watch how you can help a toddler learn to follow directions during play in Teach Me To Listen and Obey 1.

In Teach Me To Listen and Obey 2, Laura explains how to help a child understand more advanced words and then shows you how to use the same techniques in play. 

As a parent, I want to emphasize to you, YOU CAN BE SUCCESSFUL IN TEACHING YOUR CHILD. 

As a mom or dad, you know your child better than anyone else. Because of your unique connection with your own child, with the right tools, you can help him learn to interact with you, understand words, and then finally, begin to use words to talk.

Many times parents with children who have been diagnosed with autism are often at a loss with what to do next. This DVD helps parents by giving them specific strategies to use at home.

“I recently watched a DVD that has been advertised on this site called Teach Me to Talk, by Laura Mize, Pediatric Speech-Language Pathologist. The DVD was 90 minutes long and taught six strategies to teach your child to talk. It is aimed at toddlers who are delayed in speech…..which is how I will use it. It has tons of video of the speech therapist actually working with children! This was so informative. Laura Mize explains what she is doing while showing actual video of her working with children with delays! These are things you can incorporate in every day interaction with your child. I finished watching the video feeling like I could really teach my child to talk!

From the time I first learned Sophie had autism, I have wanted to see what a speech therapist actually did while working with a child. I desperately want to homeschool Sophie, but until now I have been in the dark about what the experts do to get children to talk. Now I have video examples to work with.

I watch this video with my 3 children in the room, and my daughter Sophie, was actually playing along with the video! I highly recommend this video for anyone who has a child with delayed speech. It is worth every penny.”     Sarah, mother and author of the website www.wakingsophie.com

Don’t let another day go by without tweaking your approach so that you learn how YOU can help YOUR own child learn to use and understand language.  

Order your set today! Click this link to go to our store.

Or order directly through PayPal at this link:  

 
All the DVDs can be purchased separately if you’re not sure you need all 3.

Teach Me To Talk focuses on teaching 6 simple expressive language strategies so that you can help your child begin to use words.  

Teach Me To Listen and Obey 1 is for helping children understand basic words  and learn to follow early commands. If your child is not interacting with you and doesn’t consistently follow directions, this DVD outlines how to cue him so that words become meaningful.

Teach Me To Listen and Obey 2 is designed to help teach children to understand more complex language. Common disciplinary challenges and how to handle those are also reviewed.

For more information about these DVDs and to read more parent and professional reviews, scroll up and click the child-drawn logos on the right column of this page.

Suspecting autism is very scary for any parent, but you don’t have to be helpless any longer in your attempts to work with your child at home.  

For more information about autism, and more importantly, other useful articles to teach you how to help your child at home, be sure to check out the rest of the website now! Let me help you learn how to do this! You can do it, you really can!!

Click here to go to our store to purchase DVDs and therapy manuals.  

Or order directly through PayPal with this link:  

If you want to hear the complete discussion, please listen to the show #13 by clicking the blogtalkradio link from this page or the home page.

For those of you who would like to review the entire list we found at  www.sensory-processing-disorders.com here goes:  

Gross Motor

If a child is…

Possible visual problems may exist if the child…

Does not make eye contact with others or holds objects closer than 3-4 inches from one or both eyes

 THESE ARE THE FOLLOWING LANGUAGE MILESTONES THAT A CHILD SHOULD HAVE MASTERED BY THESE AGES FROM THE ARTICLE ON THIS SITE TITLED “WHEN TO WORRY”

Many times expressive language is equated with intelligence.  As a parent of a late talker, you likely know that this is not true since many children who are late talkers are quite intelligent.  Sometimes more so than their chatty friends, but they don’t get credit for it, and especially not from the parents of the chatterboxes in your circle of friends.  

As a speech-language pathologist, it’s not the number of words a child says that tells me how “smart” they are or how well they are communicating.  (I am using the word “smart” only because this is the word most parents, grandparents, friends, and neighbors use.)  It’s how they use the words they have.  Let me give you an example. 

About two years ago, I was met at the door by an adorable 28 month old little girl I was set to evaluate.  When her father let me in, she looked right past me, threw both arms into the air, and began to belt out a perfectly articulated, “Happy birthday to you.  Happy birthday to you.  Happy birthday dear Laura.  Happy birthday to you.”  Without another word she ran away from the entry hall, through the den, and into the kitchen where she wanted to look at herself in the reflection of the stove.  

When I called her name many times to cajole her into playing with me, she leaned into the stove to get a better look.  Without warning she blew right past me and then began to sing, “I love you.  You love me.  We’re a happy family….”  Her song trailed off as she caught a glimpse of the TV.  Mesmerized she stopped in her tracks, her attention fixated to the commercial.  When she didn’t respond to her father’s attempts to gain her attention, he turned off the television.  She launched into a meltdown and screamed and cried until he, in an embarrassed and exasperated state, walked over to pick her up.  She grabbed his hand and pulled him back over to the TV.                    

Even though this little girl sang two entire songs perfectly that might be a challenge for many two-year-olds, she did not know how to ask for things she needed using words (including the “TV” that she so desperately wanted), call her parents when she needed help, or protest using words when a peer took a toy away (or when her father turned the set off.)  Although she could label more than one hundred pictures, identify all her letters, numbers, and colors, and quote scenes from her favorite television shows, she couldn’t make a choice between what she wanted for dinner or answer a question like, “What happened,” when she was clearly upset about something.

For this little girl, and for any other child, it’s not about vocabulary size; it’s about learning to use the words you know to change your world.  Speech-language pathologists call this “pragmatic” language.

Let me give you another example. 

A few months ago I met a darling little boy who was 16 months old.  His mother, finishing her residency in pediatrics, was quite concerned because he was silent.  No words.  No babbling.  Barely a peep beyond crying or laughing.  However, as I watched him interact with both of his parents, he initiated interaction with them many times with eye contact, walked to his mother and held his arms up to be picked up, and then  pointed when he wanted his sippy cup off the table.  He laughed and with “twinkly” eyes looked back and forth between all 3 adults while we played with several different toys in a 30 minute time span.  He shook his head “no” when his mother asked him if he wanted more to drink.  He pushed my hands away when I tried to help him learn the sign for more.  What communication!  What intent!  But not with one word!  (By the way - Five months later he’s talking a blue streak!)

The little boy in the previous example clearly demonstrated several types of “pragmatic” language, but all with gestures.  In my world, that “spoke” volumes more than the little girl who could sing entire songs, name all the letters, and quote Dora perfectly.        

By the time most children are 3, they learn to use words to accomplish the following purposes:

-To label

-To protest

-To respond

-To call/get attention

-To express feelings

-To imitate

-To greet/close

-To describe

-To ask questions

-To comment on what isn’t seen

We need to be sure that we are helping our children who are late talkers also accomplish the same purposes or “speech acts” with or without words.  How can we do this?  I’ll give you some examples.

If your child can label ”car” when he sees his toy, have him respond to to a question when he sees a picture of a car in a book when you ask, “What’s that?”  Have him request “car” when you hold it away from him teasingly and ask, “What do you want?” 

If your child can imitate the word ”Dada,” have him practice calling ”Dada” as you play a game with him waiting for Daddy to come home, or better yet, when Dad is hiding behind the door and can pop out once your little one has called him.  When Daddy is hiding, ask “Dada? Where’s Dada?” emphasizing the rising tone of your voice to indicate that you asked a question.  

If your child can use a word in one context, think about how you can get him to use the same word in a different context and expand his communicative intent. 

If your child is nonverbal, work on using gestures to accomplish these same purposes.  Use pointing to request by having him show you what he wants.  He can use pointing to respond to questions you ask such as, “Where’s the ball?”  He can use a head shake “no” or turn away in protest (a much more desirable  than a fit!).  He can wave to close before he says, “bye bye.”  Model holding out your hands to ask, “Where” before he can imitate the word or ask questions. 

Don’t forget how important facial expressions are in communication.  I have seen many of my little clients learn to use their faces so well to communicate with others.  Make your face match your words.  “Fake” cry for sad and hold your hands up in front of your eyes to gesture crying.  Clap your hands, smile, and say,”Yay” for “happy.”  Make a surprised face and use an exclamatory word such as, “Wow” to help describe things you see.  Use an inquisitive look just before and while you’re asking questions.                

Even if your child has “hit a wall” and isn’t adding new words or signs, working on his pragmatic skills, or why he communicates is a great way to expand what he’s learning and the best way to continue to work on language skills.  Most of the time, it’s not the size of the vocabulary that really counts.  It’s HOW they learn to use words to control their worlds.  Focus on communication, especially when the words aren’t coming yet.  This will reduce frustration for everyone, including you!               

Since I have been in private practice for the last 10 years, no one else buys my supplies, so consequently, I own lots of toys.  A whole 10 x 15 storage room full of toys in addition to the ones that fill the back of my SUV at any given time.  This makes me a toy expert of sorts since I have “field tested” many toy winners and losers while playing with my one- and two-year old friends.  Their parents are often saddened that they are animated and talkative during our one hour speech therapy visits, and then they don’t say much at all when playing by themselves during the rest of the week.  They question me asking, “What makes your toys so much more appealing than the hundred or so we already own?”  

As I’ve stated many times here on this site, having a plugged-in, FUN adult sit down to play WITH a kid is much more exciting than playing alone with even the best toy.  Often times the difference in a child’s affect and interaction is simply due to the fact that I am playing one-on-one with the toddler with no other distractions (other than a chatty mom or dad.)  Sadly, that hour may be the only truly individual time that some of my little clients get in a week.  What kids need more than a whole house full of toys is a caring, connected adult who revels in spending lots of time with them.  A basement that resembles Toys R Us cannot replace the value of consistent, one-on-one play time with mommy and daddy.  If you need more detailed information about interacting with your late-talking toddler, please read the “What Works” and “What Doesn’t Work” articles for further recommendations.  Before you spend one more dime on toys, please make sure that you are carving out time EVERY DAY to play with your baby.  There’s little chance that a toddler with developmental delays, including late talking, will catch up with his peers without parents who make individual play time a top priority.      

Beyond this, there are some guidelines that parents should use when selecting toys.  My first rule is stated in the title of this post, ”No bells, whistles, flashing lights, DVDs & ABCs!”  The toy manufacturers have it all wrong.  They are not correctly utilizing the research we now have about brain development in infancy and through toddlerhood.  They are marketing to parents who want to buy their children anything they can to ensure that they turn out to be smart and do well in school.  Adults are often tricked into thinking that because a child needs to know his letters and numbers for kindergarten, we better start when he’s 3 months old.  Better yet, let’s buy a toy that blinks and flashes letters so he’s sure to pay attention.  Even though the flashing lights of a new toy may attract an infant or toddler, there’s often no value beyond initial attention.  

Some children become so engrossed in sensory-seeking behaviors with light and sound toys that they miss out on the fun and benefits of more traditional play.  All they want to do is find the buttons and press and press and press to the exclusion of interaction with real people or more challenging toys.  If your child falls into this category and is already hooked, let the batteries run down and don’t replace them.  Some parents don’t like to hear this advice.  They struggle with taking away what their child seems to thrive on.  It’s up to you, but if you want your child to learn to be more engaged with others, I’d ditch those kinds of toys today (or at least put them on the top shelf of the closet).                    

Many parents think of DVDs as “educational” playtime.  “Edutainment” has become a $600 million dollar industry with $100 million of that from sales of DVDs for infants and toddlers.  Cutting-edge research in brain development tells us that quickly changing visual stimuli may actually wire a child’s developing brain to ”scan and shift.”  One neuroscientist has hypothesized that habitual television and video viewing for infants and toddlers may be the reason for the surge in childhood ADD in our country.  See the post titled “No Television” on this site for more information. 

I blew this one with my own children.  They are 18, 16, and 11 now, so we didn’t have access to this information then.  Our oldest child was the only one who really begged to watch movies and television, so we let him.  I’m embarrassed to say that as a young mother struggling through a masters degree with a two children under three, Disney movies and Nickelodeon frequently filled our tiny, married student housing apartment.  Our younger two children watched for a few minutes here and there as they busied themselves with  better play, but we still turned children’s television on as ”background noise” often.  Thankfully none of our children were diagnosed with ADD, but MILLIONS of other children have been.  

If God ever chose to bless us with another child (after I first picked myself up off the floor from shock), I would stick with the American Academy of Pediatrics recommendation for no television viewing or any other “screen time” for babies under 2, and I’d be mighty careful during the rest of their preschool years.  The research is that impressive to me.  If you too have really messed up with this one, you may find some consolation in my favorite quote from Maya Angelou.  To paraphrase her, “When I knew better, I did better.”  It’s not too late to kick or at least reduce this habit. 

Lastly, I absolutely HATE toys for infants and toddlers with the main purpose of teaching the alphabet or numbers.  If you’re a frequent visitor to this site, you’ve read my previous rants about this.  This includes all of the computer-like toys and games and even the ones for the real computer for kids under 3.  There is no reason you need to overtly teach numbers and letters to babies.  Period.  I can’t find one bit of credible research that supports this practice.  

Literacy experts will not disagree on this point.  Focusing on teaching the alphabet to your toddler is totally different from reading to him.  You should introduce books and stories to your babies.  Books with brightly colored photographs and simple story lines are highly recommended as activities to expand your baby’s language and attention skills.  However, other kinds of ABC or reading toys are not required in order for your child to grow up to learn to read or to be “smart.”  Most of the time, these kinds of toys aren’t  very interesting for babies.  

A perfect example of the stupidity of this concept occurred just this past Christmas when I was shopping at Wal-Mart.  Of course I was in the toy department shopping not for the young children in my own extended family, but checking out the sales for me!  I noticed a mother holding up a stuffed dog with its body parts labeled with giant letters in front of her baby girl who was seated in the cart.  Instead of talking to her daughter about the dog or better yet, pretending to bark or pant herself, she held up the dog’s ear which was clearly labeled E-A-R.   It was as if the mother expected the baby to read it herself and blurt out, “Ear!”  The little girl looked away.  At this point I wanted to interject, “Ya’ know, she can’t read that yet,” but I didn’t.  I continued to watch as the mother became almost a little agitated.  She pursued her daughter’s attention by shaking the dog in front of her face and then very slowly pushed the dog’s nose.  The toy’s very mechanical voice responded, “NOSE.”  Again the mother said nothing.  Consequently neither did the little girl.  The baby looked down, grabbed the edge of the seat belt, and lifted it to her mouth to chew.  The mother tried one more time to engage the little girl by calling her name and repeatedly shaking the dog right in front of her eyes.  The little girl  shut her eyes and rubbed her face.   When her daughter looked away, the mother, now clearly exasperated, tossed the dog back on the shelf.  I wanted to yell to the baby, ”Good for you!  You resisted the major advertising ploy of printing words on a toy that you can’t and shouldn’t be able to read!  The toy almost sucked your mother in, but you showed her how boring and non-purposeful a toy like that it is!  Good for you, you smart baby!”  Kudos to the mother too because even though she did a poor job of interacting with her baby, she did not purchase a toy her child clearly showed no interest in.

By now you are probably wondering if there are any toys that I do like since I have bashed most of what Target, K-Mart, and all of the other huge retailers carry in their baby and toddler sections.  I can definitively answer, “Yes!”  There are many toys that are wonderful for stimulating little minds and facilitating language.  My specific favorites will be listed in a later post.  Until then clean out your toy boxes!  Ditch the toys with bells & whistles along with the DVDs and ABCs!  If your child could, he would thank you for it.                                                                       

“My son is 18 months old and understands everything we say to him, but he is not talking with words yet.  He mostly looks at us, will point to what he wants, and grunts.  Is there anything we can do at home to help him learn to say words?”  -From Claire in Wisconsin

There are lots of things you can do at home to help him talk!  How do you teach new words?  By doing what you’re doing now - modeling words in the middle of your routines and during lots of one-on-one playtime so that he can repeat you.  Imitation is the number one way kids learn new words.  Talk all day long to him about what you’re doing, but make sure that you are saying lots of single words (rather than speaking only in sentences) and then pausing to give him a chance to imitate.  This was hard for me to learn as a new therapist.  I would spend so much time talking that I didn’t give my little clients a chance to respond before I had moved on to the next thing!  Thankfully I have learned to  s-l-o-w   d-o-w-n  and  w–a–i–t  for my little friends’ brains and mouths to catch up!           

Some kids respond well to parents who say the word and then wait long enough for their toddler to imitate the word.  However, some kids need direct cues such as, “Say _(the word)______.”  Another therapist’s tip - Don’t ask your child, “Can you say ________?”  The answer to this question is “yes” or “no.”  Simply use, “Say _____” or ”Tell me.” 

What’s my number one trick for getting kids to try to talk?  I always use FOOD.  Specifically junk food and lots of it.  I also use their favorite toys or activities too, but usually after I ”hook” them with cookies, goldfish, chips, fruit snacks (I call them “candy”) and everyone’s favorite, cheese balls.  Some parents and therapists try to take the high road, look down their noses at me, and in the most condescending tone they can muster, tell me that they NEVER use food to “bribe” kids to talk.  Why not?  It works!  And let’s face it, we all perform best for things we really like.  Looking at pictures in books or pointing out objects to them with the hope that he or she will begin to repeat the word may work for some kids, but in my experience, food works with almost everybody.  (Except maybe very, very picky eaters, but even then I can usually find some junk food they like!)

The food method (as I call it) always begins with me sitting on the floor holding the bag or bowl of snacks.  Try sitting on the floor first because it’s in their line of vision.  I usually say something like, “Mmmmm.  Cookies!  Do you want one?”  If I get no response, I say, “Okay.  I’ll eat it.”  That usually gets most kids riled up.  Then I say, ”What do you want?”  Model the word (or sign) for them to imitate.  When your kid tries, even if the word is not perfect, go ahead and give him the cookie.  You can clean up the sounds later when he’s older and is not as apt to be frustrated.  (See the post on What Doesn’t Work - Unproductive Strategies for more on this!)   If he doesn’t try to say the word, withhold the snack and model the word again for a few more times.  Sometimes it takes a few “models” before a kid can process and try to say it himself.  Wait him out.  If he still won’t try to say it after this long, go ahead and give it to him.  Going beyond this number of prompts really is, for lack of a better word, MEAN!  You want to keep him motivated enough to try again!                              

I usually cue a child between 3 and 5 times with a word before moving on or before giving him what he wants.  If he’s too frustrated (throwing himself backward on the floor and screaming), forget the prompting and just give him what he wants.  No kid learns anything when he’s that MAD!  But a little bit of frustration sometimes does a child good. 

I never accept “uh uh” or grunts and points from a kid when I know they can do better.  I know he can do better when I have heard him try to approximate the word before or when he’s become a fairly consistent imitator.  If not, I might hold out with a couple of models and then still give him what he wants if he truly can’t do it.  Using signs or pictures is what I switch to if a child can’t consistently make himself attempt a word.  (Look for a post later this week on using sign language to help kids learn to talk.)

An activity that I routinely have success with is blowing bubbles.  At first I sit on the floor, and I always hold the container so that I am in control.  If a kid fights to hold it, I give him a wand, and then I use another other wand to blow.  If a kid really fights to hold the bottle, I stand up so he can’t reach it.  Avoid saying, “No” or stating any other negative form or rule during this kind of play.  Just plaster a smile on your face, keep your tone playful, and move what he wants out of his reach, so that you stay in the lead, and he has to “request.”  Ask, “Bubbles?”  Model the word (and/or sign) several times WAITING on his request.  Blow only after he says the word, or after you’ve prompted the word several times with no response.  Make a big deal out of watching and popping the bubbles.  I pop them in the air with my fingers saying, “Pop! Pop! Pop!”, but I always let some fall to the floor so that I can smack the floor with a big gesture and scream, “Pop!”  Lots of kids will imitate this gesture and word for me before they imitate anything else.

One more thing I always try is using a toy with lots of accessories or pieces so that kids have to ask me for the next thing they need.  You can sabotage the activity by having all of the pieces in a clear plastic bag so she can see it and has to ask for each item to play.  I work with two-year-olds, so most of my little friends (even the boys) love playing with baby dolls.  I gather small bottles of pretend juice and milk, sippy cups, a bowl, several different colored spoons and forks, a hairbrush and comb, baby wipes, diapers, a baby blanket or baby carrier, pretend foods, and lots of doll clothes - shirts, socks, shoes, and hats.  If a kid wants a new item, he has to ask (or try anyway).  The key is having lots of items to pick from and then offering a choice between two of the items.  For example, ask if baby needs to drink or eat.  If she picks drink, ask if baby wants milk or juice, then needs a cup or bottle, then have him choose between two different colors of cups, etc…  I try to get a kid to  make several different choices before we get to the actual activity.  If your child is too frustrated with this waiting, stick to one or two choices before the activity, but always look for ways to expand his attention span and ideas in play.  It’s not always just about talking!  Be sure to join in the play modeling play and language at or just above his level.  You may get more imitation when you’re actually playing than during the choosing.

“Ball” is an easy first word.  Ball toys are always popular with one and two-year-olds too.  I like ones that have more than one ball and are clear so kids can watch the balls go in, fall down, or pop out.  Hold all the balls and have them ask you for one ball at a time.  Make a big deal about catching the balls as they fall out saying, “Got it,” so kids know they have to ask for it if they want it again.   

All of this type of play needs to be done in an animated, fun way.  Don’t look like an ogre when you sit and hold the pieces.  Don’t lecture, “You have to tell me the word first, or I’m not going to give it to you.”  Keep it light, fun, and model the word many times PLAYFULLY  withholding what he wants until he tries.  This kind of approach typically works when a kid is interactive and ready to talk.  If your child is too focused on the object instead of knowing that he has to communicate to get it, you may need to back up and work on more social kinds of games to make a real connection first before working on requesting.

I hope these ideas help!  Laura