Home »
Toddler Grunts Instead of Talking – Ideas for Parents to Help a Child Learn to Use Words
Do you have a child who grunts instead of talking? Many parents of late talkers say that their child grunts instead of using words and ask for ideas for helping a child learn to talk.
Here’s an excerpt from an e-mail I received from our “Ask the SLP” post.
“My son is 18 months old and understands everything we say to him, but he is not talking with words yet. He mostly looks at us, will point to what he wants, and grunts. Is there anything we can do at home to help him learn to say words?” -From Claire in Wisconsin
There are lots of things you can do at home to help him talk! How do you teach new words? By doing what you’re doing now – modeling words in the middle of your routines and during lots of one-on-one playtime so that he can repeat you.
Imitation is only way kids learn new words.
Talk all day long to your toddler about what you’re doing, but make sure that you are saying lots of single words (rather than speaking only in sentences) and then pausing to give him a chance to imitate.
This was hard for me to learn as a new therapist.
I would spend so much time talking that I didn’t give my little clients a chance to respond before I had moved on to the next thing! Thankfully I have learned to s-l-o-w d-o-w-n and w–a–i–t for my little friends’ brains and mouths to catch up! (Read more about expectant waiting and how it works to help a toddler learn to talk.)
Some kids respond well to parents who say the word and then wait long enough for their toddler to imitate the word.
However, some kids need direct cues such as, “Say _(the word)______.” Another therapist’s tip – Don’t ask your child, “Can you say ________?” The answer to this question is “yes” or “no.” Simply use, “Say _____” or “Tell me.”
Another of my favorite “hacks” is saying to a child, “You can say ____. It’s… a… _____” And then waiting for the child to fill-in-the-blank with the correct word. Think about this technique as giving a child a “running start.” This strategy has worked so well for toddlers that by now it’s one of the first things I try when a child doesn’t imitate well with direct cues, likely due to difficulty with confrontational naming. The starter phrase (or carrier phrase in a sense) seems to relieve that pressure to perform and kids who normally shut down, may complete the phrase with the correct word.
When a Toddler Grunts Instead of Talking, Use a Toddler’s Favorite Things as Motivation to Talk
What’s my number one trick for getting kids to try to talk when they’re grunting instead of talking?
I’ve written about this a lot here at teachmetotalk and in all of my manuals, but I’ll give you a summary here too.
Unless a child is a super picky eater, is on a restricted diet, or has severe allergic reactions, I always use FOOD.
Specifically junk food and lots of it.
I also use their favorite toys or activities too, but usually after I “hook” them with cookies, goldfish, chips, fruit snacks (I call them “candy”) and everyone’s favorite, cheese balls.
Some parents and therapists try to take the high road and in the most condescending tone they can muster, tell me that they NEVER use food to “bribe” kids to talk.
Why not?
It works!
And let’s face it, we all perform best for things we really like.
Looking at pictures in books or pointing out objects to them with the hope that he or she will begin to repeat the word may work for some kids, but in my experience, food works with almost everybody. (Except maybe very, very picky eaters, but even then I can usually find some junk food they like!)
The food method (as I call it) always begins with me sitting on the floor holding the bag or bowl of snacks. Try sitting on the floor first because it’s in their line of vision. I usually say something like, “Mmmmm. Cookies! Do you want one?”
If I get no response, I say, “Okay. I’ll eat it.”
That usually gets most kids interested, and sometimes a little riled up which can work in your favor unless they go over the edge.
Then I say, “What do you want?”
Immediately answer this question as you want them to answer by modeling the word (or sign) for them to imitate.
When your kid tries, even if the word is not perfect, go ahead and give him the cookie.
You can clean up the sounds later when he’s older and is not as apt to be frustrated. (See the post on What Doesn’t Work – Unproductive Strategies for more on this!)
If he doesn’t try to say the word, withhold the snack and model the word again for a few more times.
Sometimes it takes a few “models” before a kid can process and try to say it himself. Wait him out. If he still won’t try to say it after this long, go ahead and give it to him. Going beyond this number of prompts really is, for lack of a better word, MEAN! You want to keep him motivated enough to try again!
I usually cue a child between 3 and 5 times with a word before moving on or before giving him what he wants. If he’s too frustrated (throwing himself backward on the floor and screaming), forget the prompting and just give him what he wants. No kid learns anything when he’s that MAD!
But a little bit of frustration sometimes does a child good. (Read about that here.)
I never accept “uh uh” or pointing, or grunts instead of talking from a kid when I know they can do better.
We know a child can do better when I have heard him try to approximate the word before or when he’s become a fairly consistent imitator.
If not, I might hold out with a couple of models and then still give him what he wants if he truly can’t do it.
Using signs or pictures is what I switch to if a child can’t consistently make himself attempt a word. (Here’s a post about using sign language to help kids learn to talk.)
If a Child Doesn’t Like Food, Try a Toy!
An activity that I routinely have success with is blowing bubbles.
At first I sit on the floor, and I always hold the container so that I am in control. If a kid fights to hold it, I give him a wand, and then I use another other wand to blow. If a kid really fights to hold the bottle, I stand up so he can’t reach it.
Avoid saying, “No” or stating any other negative form or rule during this kind of play.
Just plaster a smile on your face, keep your tone playful, and move what he wants out of his reach, so that you stay in the lead, and he has to “request.”
Ask, “Bubbles?” Model the word (and/or sign if you’re signing) several times WAITING on his request.
Blow only after he says the word, or after you’ve prompted the word several times with no response.
Make a big deal out of watching and popping the bubbles. I pop them in the air with my fingers saying, “Pop! Pop! Pop!”, but I always let some fall to the floor so that I can smack the floor with a big gesture and scream, “Pop!” Lots of kids will imitate this gesture and word for me before they imitate anything else.
If he’s still grunting instead of talking, another idea is shaping his word. Try to get at least a vowel-sounding sound like “uh” rather than a grunt. Model “uh” yourself as you’re saying “Buuuuuuubble. That’s right “uh.” Buuuuuuubble.”
Try Piece by Piece When a Child Grunts Instead of Talking
One more thing I always try when an older child grunts insteaed of talking is using a toy with lots of accessories or pieces so that kids have to ask me for the next thing they need. You can sabotage the activity by having all of the pieces in a clear plastic bag so she can see it and has to ask for each item to play.
Most of my little friends (even the boys) love playing with baby dolls. I gather small bottles of pretend juice and milk, sippy cups, a bowl, several different colored spoons and forks, a hairbrush and comb, baby wipes, diapers, a baby blanket or baby carrier, pretend foods, and lots of doll clothes – shirts, socks, shoes, and hats. If a kid wants a new item, he has to ask (or try anyway).
The key is having lots of items to pick from and then offering a choice between two of the items. For example, ask if baby needs to drink or eat. If she picks drink, ask if baby wants milk or juice, then needs a cup or bottle, then have him choose between two different colors of cups, etc. I try to get a kid to make several different choices before we get to the actual activity. If your child is too frustrated with this waiting, stick to one or two choices before the activity, but always look for ways to expand his attention span and ideas in play. It’s not always just about talking! Be sure to join in the play modeling play and language at or just above his level. You may get more imitation when you’re actually playing than during the choosing.
Try Ball Toys When a Child Grunts Instead of Talking
“Ball” is an easy first word. Ball toys are always popular with one and two-year-olds too. I like ones that have more than one ball and are clear so kids can watch the balls go in, fall down, or pop out. Hold all the balls and have them ask you for one ball at a time. Make a big deal about catching the balls as they fall out saying, “Got it,” so kids know they have to ask for it if they want it again.
All of this type of play needs to be done in an animated, fun way.
Don’t look like an ogre when you sit and hold the pieces.
Don’t lecture, “You have to tell me the word first, or I’m not going to give it to you.”
Keep it light, fun, and model the word many times PLAYFULLY withholding what he wants until he tries. This kind of approach typically works when a kid is interactive and ready to talk. If your child is too focused on the object instead of knowing that he has to communicate to get it, you may need to back up and work on more social games to make a real connection first before working on requesting.
I hope these ideas help!
You can find more super practical step-by-step activities for teaching a words when he grunts instead of talking in my book written for professionals and parents called Teach Me To Talk: The Therapy Manual. If you’re struggling because you don’t know what to do during your therapy time at home, this book will give you direction with goals/milestones matched to activities that work for toddlers and their families.
Get My Free eBook
A Parent's Guide to Understanding Speech Language Development
Get real-time clinical coaching and Q&A for professionals and parents who want practical answers, clearer next steps, and direct access to Laura’s expertise.
Recent Posts
Teach Me To Talk Testimonials
Happy Therapists, Teachers, Parents & Children
"Laura, I am a long time follower. You have mentored me from a distance for many years. I've watched many of your courses and purchased 5-6 of your books. I just wanted to take a moment as a sister in Christ to say- --- Thank you!! I'm in my 33rd year as an SLP and still love it! I work in the public schools and have grown my skills along the way with your help. Thank you thank you thank you and, Many blessings to you and your daughter!!!"
Camille, SLP
"Laura,
Three years ago, my then 2year old (adopted) was only saying two words - momma and boat. We had been doing speech therapy for 6 months, and he loved to play, but he was entirely uninterested in talking. A dear friend who is a SLP recommended I look you up online. Since then, I've read your emails, listened to hours of your podcasts, ordered two of your therapy manuals, and watched many of your videos.
My now 5year old tells elaborate stories now, and if you didn't know his background, you would never guess. And thanks to the hours that I have spent with your guidance, when our next son, now a 2.5yr old, didn't talk (after a craniotomy), I had tools to get started with him. His speech has just taken off in the last month or so.
Thank you so much for all that you do to help parents facilitate speech therapy with their kiddos. And thank you for your gentle, confident living of your faith.
God's blessings."
Rachel (mom to 3 boys in a now very noisy house!)
"Hi Laura!
I became an SLP in 2004 and you were my first SLP crush! I was so fortunate to have a supportive school district that allowed me to purchase your videos and the Teach Me to Talk handbook. Not only was the handbook a life saver (I literally called it my Bible lol), but the videos, oh how the videos changed my life, and the lives of the families I worked with! I remember telling my families that they'd love you, not only because you spoke directly to families, jargon free, but also because of your southern dialect. You speak directly and clearly, but never rushed and never over anyone's head, something I highly value. I told families that I could listen to you read the phone book and it would capture my attention. You see, I'm from Ohio where we don't get a whole lot of diversity and cool dialects, so listening to you talk about my favorite topics was a breath of fresh air. So many of us think talking over people's heads makes us more credible or whatever, but now that I've been around over 20 years, I can say you had it right all along. Southern speech included 😊"
Heather Welling, M.A., CCC-SLP, Early Intervention in Summit County, OH
"I found the modality checklists to be invaluable. I had something in hand that I can use right off the printer."
Elizabeth, SLP
"LOVED this program! It was jam-packed with a ton of information that will take time to incorporate into therapy sessions. (Not only is the child learning new skills, so am I as a therapist!) I've known about strength-based therapy and have done it, but not to the extent and to the organization offered in this training. I am looking forward to seeing how my therapy changes and how my little ones progress by using this program."
Leah, SLP
"This program was extremely beneficial for use in my practice. All of the information, handouts and techniques that were presented were amazing. Easy to follow along. I liked that it was broken up into different videos/sections."
Michele, SLP
"Thank you for including real-life stories and anecdotes from your own practice. Very helpful."
Ellen, SLP
"I loved the clear strengths guidance, and the reminder not to push too hard in therapy!"
Elizabeth, SLP
"The course was very helpful and practical. I will certainly apply this approach to children on my caseload. I kept thinking about children that already "graduated" from EI and wish I had this knowledge when I still had them on my caseload. (Although I did put a lot of other Teach Me to Talk information into practice!)"
Heidi, SLP
"I appreciated learning the 7 C's of Communication, which seemed to include, (restated/reorganized/ summarized) information from '11 Skills Toddlers Master Before Words Emerge', which I have successfully used for years now (Thank you so much!!!!). I appreciated the additional information included to better assist toddlers with ASD since that population, unfortunately, continues to rise. I also appreciated the focus on regulating children and the need to keep them regulated, since dysregulation and sensory impairment in toddlers is also rising. These are areas I did not study in grad school. I appreciate the worksheets we can provide for parents to identify strengths and how to use these strengths more effectively in treatment. Thank you again, for your essential contribution to our field. p.s. You and Macy are precious!! God bless you both!"
"I am one of those therapists who you pointed out works on the wrong things. ARH!! What a slap in the face, but in a good way, because it was a much needed wake up call. I've hated my job lately and now I know why. Thank you for the clarity."
Susan, SLP
"Dear Ms. Laura and sweet Macy, I just purchased the new course and wanted to say THANK YOU! I would have definitely expected such cutting-edge information to come from you! I am part of several message boards for parents of autistic children, and we parents are just so tired of being told by professionals what our children can't or will never do. And really, what is the point of doing that? How does that help at all? Except to make the parent miserable and feel like there is no point in trying to help their child?...The tone of the course is great (such positivity), and Macy is such a delight! She is such a wonderful addition to Teach me to Talk."
Ann, SLP
“I loved the handouts to share with parents to help them understand how utilizing their child's strengths and interests is the best way to facilitate their child's communication abilities.”
Colleen, SLP
“The most beneficial part of the program is the strengths survey, as well as the treatment toys and activities that correspond to each strength. There was no part of the program that I did not feel was beneficial.”
Natalie, SLP
"I LOVED the energy of this course! I also appreciated the research facts I learned I can spit out to other professionals and parents. The best part was how characteristics of ASD were divided into strengths and therapy activities... so if I have a visually inspecting kid, I know I can go into my pdf and find out what activities I should target based on that characteristic... this really did improve how I think about therapy."
Kelsey, SLP
"I feel so much more at ease now having a huuuuuge packet of therapy ideas and a framework for organizing my therapy and having an actual PLAN instead of just "following the child's lead" while trying to figure out how to work in the goals. The way the content was explained was easy to follow and the handouts are excellent."
A, SLP
“I found identifying a child's strength helped me to consolidate my previous knowledge and experience. I feel I have a clear method to identify a child's strength and to build their strengths into sessions plans to help achieve their set goals.”
Christine, SLP
"Wow, this course was by far my favorite course I have taken in a long time! I have been lately feeling "stuck" with a few of my autistic toddler clients, and this course provided clear and helpful tools and strategies to best support our clients while also being affirming. I loved all of the ideas that were provided as well as the Strengths Survey – I can't wait to implement all of these wonderful things!"
Isabel, SLP
“The most beneficial part of the course was the handouts to share with parents and ALL the therapy ideas!! I've always felt that we focus on the 10% a kiddo can't do instead of the 90% Can Do. I have always tried to do this in my therapy sessions. Now I have evidenced material for support!!!!!”
Suzanne, SLP
“Liked systematic handouts to use to help with assessment and diagnostic therapy. Enjoyed hearing examples of each strength domain. Great review and great handouts to be able to share with families. The course was well organized and the content is much needed as an EI therapist.”
Terri, SLP
“This was a fresh new philosophy and a comprehensive approach with a new concept for successfully working with children with Autism. Before this ,the very structured, compliance teaching model which has been utilized by many therapists using comply-reward, noncompliance -punish or a with-hold philosophy. Children with Autism became prompt-.dependent with this method. These Children couldn't initiate language or make a plan to move on their own. They had to wait to be prompted to act or to respond and never spoke spontaneously on their own. I and many of my SLP colleagues have always believed in play therapy and giving the child choices to play works best. It is very important that Parents should hear about this strategy! Thank you Laura and Macy for doing the evidence-based research and putting this new concept into words!!”
Teresa, SLP
“This was a wonderful, easy to understand course with lots of great materials. Exactly what the fabulous Laura Mize is known for!”
F, SLP
"I am an autism mom, and I bought your books and listened to several podcast episodes over the last few years. I believe your teach me to talk and autism workbook were one of the number one tools in giving me to guidance to help my son. Thank you!"
Brittni
"I just want to thank you for the invaluable information you’ve given me in helping my grandson to talk (which I have passed on to his parents). We’ve ve learned patience, appropriate expectations, and fun and effective strategies that we had found no where else. He is exploding with conversation! Sometimes I struggle to interpret his articulation, but all I have to do is say, “Show me”, and he’s excited to do so. He and I both want so badly to communicate with each other, and your strategies have made it so much easier and non-threatening. Once again, I thank you from the bottom of my heart."
Stacey
"My little guy is taking off like a rocket!! We’ve been working through your Autism Workbook for a few months and he has had an explosion of skills develop. YOU are AMAZING! THANK YOU!" Laura Q, Mom
"Dear Laura Mize and Team,
Thank you so much for all your hard work and publishing books! Our 17-month-old toddler suddenly exploded into speaking and imitating everybody's gestures and sounds, just a week or two after we 'completed' all activities that are listed under 11 pre-linguistic skills! Your method really works!"
Grateful customer.
"Hi Laura!
I absolutely LOVE all of your workbooks, especially your Autism Workbook. Starting with Social Games has been a game changer for many of my littles with ASD and their families. It's been the best way for them to finally connect and sustain shared attention and engagement, leading to longer social interactions, through play!"
Jodie, Dev, Therapist
"Hi Ms. Laura,
Thank you so much for the videos you have posted on your youtube channel. They are so direct, informative, and helpful. Thank you for being a resource for me to become a better therapist."
Dianne
